Issue #291: Can I write coherently about six movies at once?

Sometimes, when I expend the extent of my critical faculties analyzing a terrible movie, I feel like Goemon Ishikawa from Lupin III. He has a catch phrase, "Once again I have cut a worthless object," when he spectacularly slices some inanimate something or other in a clean two with Zantetsuken. In my case, the "worthless object" is the film in question …